Should All Else Fail
by lily-uzumaki23
Summary: Angeal and Zack share an insightful conversation in bed...


**A/n: **I'm not sure if I like how this turned out but…eh…yeah, read and enjoy!

**Warning(s): **none.

**Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own…

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**Should All Else Fail**

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The nights he gave into satisfying his puppy's desires, even though he had a lot of work to do, Angeal would wake up after, turn the bedside lamp on and labor on. Tonight he was stuck reading old reports that he should've had signed a week ago. Said reports were from the SOLDIER class that he commandeered and Lazard had been biting his ear off, giving him no near end about how he needed them done. Personally, he thought that if the matter was _that _urgent then they shouldn't have sent him to all those missions on a roll these past three months. It was more than likely the reason he'd fallen so far behind in his deskwork. The soft snoring beside him begged to differ. Well, he admitted to himself begrudgingly, Zack had had a part in it too.

The puppy was a force to be reckoned with when he took it upon himself to get his way. That, and Angeal only ever made halfhearted attempts to not give in to him. Truth be told, ever since they had officially gotten together, there was never a day he didn't want Zack. Everything about the boy consumed him whole and unlike the warrior that came up with tactics to make their defense impenetrable on the battlefield, there was no defense clever enough that he could come up with to fight him. Ever. His smile made the day's events melt away into a far off memory. His hugs unburdened him, unraveled his troubled thoughts, and his lips gave him renewed hope that perhaps there was a solution to every problem in the world. He was free of his own inhibitions while buried deep inside of him, for once, and the life was sucked out of him with every thrust, until he was reduced to nothing but complete weakness. Then Zack's endearing pleas and moans as he drove both of them to heaven made him unbeatable again. It was like dying and coming back to life every time. Always the same.

Zack stirred beside him in his chest-down pose, the bed sheets curled around the lower half of his naked body. Probably just a reflex, Angeal thought, though as overprotective as the man was of his puppy, he offered comfort by reaching out a hand and running soft fingertips up and down the boy's spine. The touch seemed to soothe Zack some and he carried on with the affectionate gesture while holding the reports up with his other hand to keep up with his reading. Zack liked to sprawl on him as if he were a mattress when he slept. It wouldn't surprise Angeal if the boy was only searching for his heat and scent in order to sleep at ease.

The night continued in comfortable silence, the sound of paper rustling whenever Angeal finished a report and signed it disrupting it from time to time though the soft sound of Zack breathing remained ever-present, the knowledge that he was alive comforting to the presumably cold 1st class commander. Never known for making up excuses as to why he hadn't had the work done, the commander had instead assured Lazard that the work would be done by tomorrow. Angeal was a man of his word and if it was tomorrow that the Executive Director expected the work on his desk done then it was tomorrow that his work would be on his desk, indeed, done.

"'Geal?" a groggy murmur. Angeal looked to the side to find the puppy staring at him with wrinkled eyelids to shield from the light that Mako eyes were far more sensitive to than regular eyes.

"Go back to sleep, pup," the commander said in a soft voice. Reports were momentarily forgotten as he reached out to run his fingers through the boy's silky spikes of wild raven hair with his free hand. Zack let his eyes flutter closed briefly to revel in the gentle caress he'd come to associate with being needed, and wanted, and loved.

"What are you doing up?" he propped himself on his elbows, the usual energy and bounce so characteristic of him returned in-full, and Angeal gave up on the idea of putting him back to bed at all.

"I have to finish these reports," the man held the documents up and Zack nodded along with them, reminding Angeal of a puppy that stared at the stick when he was about to play fetch.

"Mind if I read with you?"

It wasn't an odd request from the boy cadet, in fact, Angeal had been surprised that Zack had surrendered to sleep early when he usually fought it to the end just so he could get the chance to do it. Oftentimes, when he was done with lessons for the day and he had no homework to work on, the puppy liked to sit with Angeal and go over reports with him, eager to know what he'd be facing once he reached SOLDIER. Angeal had agreed with the condition that he kept everything he read confidential. It would serve him well, thought the commander, to mentally prepare him for what he really would be up against once he became full SOLDIER, erase the notion that most cadets had of war (which he thought was quite fictitious compared to what he knew to be the real thing).

Zack took his usual position, in between Angeal's spread and bent legs. He stared up innocently when Angeal covered his crotch with one of the eight pillows the king-sized bed had come with. Angeal clicked his tongue and turned him then forced him to sit like he always did, with his back pressed to his broad chest and his head against his buff shoulder.

"But--"

"Not a word, pup. We still have work to do."

Zack felt Angeal hug him from behind and he settled in comfortably, covering his manly bits with the bed sheets, Angeal holding the papers up now for the both of them to read. Again, the comfortable silence settled in, concentration thick in the air, as they focused on the written recap of events in the latest assigned missions for 2nd class SOLDIER.

"_A detached Wutai army unit was found on the outskirts of Wutai. The orders were to vanquish them before they made a move in order to prevent further incident from them considering the current political chaos with them. The Wutaian army was eliminated successfully. No SOLDIER were KIA…." _

"_There were survivors found after incident of Fort Tamblin, from which all enemies were presumed dead. The orders were to eliminate them in an attempt to maintain the resistance and prevent further anti-ShinRa activities that would otherwise sow chaos. All enemies were exterminated. No SOLDIER have been KIA…" _

"_A reliable source informed us of the existence of Wutai remnants in Fort Condor. The orders were to conduct an investigation and eliminate the enemy upon sight. Wutaian remains were defeated. No SOLDIER were KIA…" _

"_A Wutai trooper escapee was found hiding in the slums of Midgar, planning an attack against ShinRa as part of an anti-Shinra element. The orders were to eliminate any threats before they had a chance to make their move. The runaway was killed and the anti-ShinRa group was completely exterminated. No SOLDIER were KIA…" _

Angeal allowed himself to nuzzle his nose in Zack's hair, feeling the boy restless against him. Something was bothering him, the commander knew, but it was typical of the boy to save questions for when he deemed the timing appropriate. Zack didn't like to interrupt Angeal while the SOLDIER 1st was at work, after all.

"What is it?" the man asked, unable to take Zack's shifting any longer. Zack shook his head.

"Nothing….just," he sighed resignedly. Angeal lowered the reports to Zack's lap and ran curled fingers up and down the boy's torso reassuringly, urging him to go on. Zack nuzzled his nose in the crook of his neck as he spoke. "What does it do to you? The deaths and the killings?"

Angeal hadn't expected the question and remained speechless as he thought of an appropriate answer that would quell the boy's curiosity.

"You learn to justify yourself," he managed in a somber timber. "Killing for the sake of killing destroys you. I do it for the sake of defending what I believe is right and true." A pang of guilt beat in his heart, thinking soon, Zack would have to do the same too.

"And you think ShinRa is right in all their accusations?" the boy asked and Angeal nodded once.

"Yes," he placed a soft kiss at the back of Zack's neck, letting his lips linger on the patch of soft flesh. "Do you?"

Zack turned his head enough so he could face Angeal properly. Their foreheads pressed together gently due to their closeness as he spoke.

"They better be." Wide and innocent eyes, turned light blue from Mako, stared up at him. "Otherwise, what the hell are we fighting for?"

It was in this moment that Angeal was certain the boy in his arm was one-of-a-kind. He captured his lips in a soft kiss and vowed to the silent promise that should all else fail, he'd kill to protect him, to give what they had another day to exist, and he would honorably die for it too.

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**The End. **I've had this idea for a while so now it's out and I'm glad because it can finally stop bugging me. Reviews would be nice…


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